Alright, back to grilled meats.  With only one more month of summer (officially) you’ve gotta make the most out of the grill before snow falls.  It’s 85 now but could be 35 in two months, so don’t delay.  This meal takes quite a few ingredients and a bit of juggling, but it’s well worth it.

The Necessities:

NY Strip Steaks (buy more than you think you’ll eat, otherwise you may end up wanting more)

Crumbed Gorgonzola or Blue Cheese

Baby Spinach or some other green to soak up the juices

Portabella Mushrooms (1 per person)

Medium size yellow onion

Red Wine (that bottle with half a glass left that has been hanging out for a week will do nicely)

Butter

Seasonings:

Garlic powder/salt

*Sea Salt

*Cracked Black Pepper

*I know that you have a half gallon of salt and another of pepper in your cupboard…spend an extra couple bucks and buy the Sea Salt and Black Pepper with the grinders on them.  They are about $3.50 each and just make the food taste better than normal salt and pepper.  I cook a lot and mine have lasted almost a year.  They’rea good investment.

The Juggling:

Wash:

Your hands

The tops of the Portabellas, not the underside

The greens 

Cut:

Onions (the longer the strips the easier they are to eat)

Portabellas (leave about an half inch of stem, cut it in half with the cap down so it’s kind of flat and then slice with the flat edge on the cutting board).

Turn on:

Saute pan for mushrooms and onions (Medium High)

Grill (if you’re using charcoal you know how long it takes to heat up, so make sure to give yourself plenty of time).

Optional: Saute pan for steaks on Medium High  (I prefer to sear my steaks before they go on the grill as it caramelizes the seasonings and holds in more juices).

*Season:

Steaks 

Mushroom and Onion mixture

*Don’t go overboard with the salt, pepper, and garlic.  These ingredients are good enough without the seasoning.  There are going to be a lot of flavors going on so air on the side of caution with the seasonings.

Cook:

At this point you have a pan (or two) heated to cook the veggies and sear the steaks.  For the veggies, I use a couple tablespoons of butter (actually I use Country Crock) and the same with the steaks.  

Once the butter is melted toss in the seasoned veggies.  Mix them up to get the butter on everything so it doesn’t burn.

Sear the steaks for about a minute on each side. 

Toss the steaks on.  Everybody likes their steak different temperatures.  I like mine Medium Rare (yes, I know that I overcooked the one the picture…hence the name of the blog).  Typically it takes about 6-8 minutes to cook a fairly thin NY Strip to mid rare.  You can always cook it longer, but you can’t make it less cooked. 

Keep an eye on the veggies and mix them every few minutes.  They should take about 10 minutes to cook.

Toss the greens on your plate.

Once the onions are slightly translucent and the portabellas are a nice light brown shade, pour in a little red wine…then a little more.  You don’t want them to be swimming, but make sure they have enough wine to soak up.  About 3/4 cup or so.

Pull off the steaks and slice them horizontally and put them on the greens.

Add required amount of Gorgonzola. 

Once the red wine has been absorbed, it’s time to eat.

Beverage:

A nice dry red wine (try a Rioja from Spain and thank me later) goes perfectly with this meal.  But being that it was hot out, I recommend a light summery beer.  A Summer Shandy or Sunset Wheat from Leinenkugel’s works real well.

Like I said, this is one of the more labor intensive meals I’ve cooked in a while.  It made me feel like I was back in the kitchen trying to do 5 things at once.  Doing all the prep work before turning on any grill or saute pan makes life a lot easier though.  The work was absolutely worth it when we sat down to one of our best meals of the summer. 

This salad is a great respite from the pounds of BBQed meats you’ve been eating for the past few months.  

What you need:

Blueberries

Fresh Mozzarella

Tomatoes

Cucumber

Your Favorite Salad Mix (I went with baby spinach and romaine 2 for $5 at Meijer, so it was perfect)

Dressing (I highly recommend Newman’s Lite Raspberry Vinegarette)

Optional: Strawberries

Assembly:

I think think the picture for this one provides you with a pretty solid explanation of how you put this salad together.  Make sure you wash everything thoroughly and don’t chop your fingers off.

To Drink:

Delirium Tremens - One of the world’s greatest beers (that’s not just my opinion, it’s won some pretty big awards).  It will be the most expensive part of your meal but it is an absolute perfect match for this salad on a warm summer night.  Plus, it’s not like this meal is exactly breakin’ the bank.

Enjoy your break from grilled meats, but check back tomorrow for another great, protein-focused, summer dinner. 

After a bit of a hiatus, I’m back with some more recipes a drunken monkey could make. This one was inspired by a couple things (aside from my normal hunger): I wanted pie, I didn’t feel like buying another pie, and I wanted it before I went to bed (this was during a 10pm trip to Meijer).

What do I need?

1. Two packs of Jell-O instant pudding (Cheesecake flavor).

2. Milk (I think it’s 2 3/4 cups for two packets, it printed on the side of the box).

3. A graham cracker crust of your choice.

4. 1 ripe, ready-to-use banana.

5. Some strawberries (rinsed off and well drained).

6. Mixing bowl

7. Whisk(ey)

How to Construct it:

1. Rinse your strawberries and slice them (watch your fingers)

2. Put the milk in your mixing bowl and then add your pudding mix. If you put in the dry stuff first and then the milk, it will clump up and it’s damn near impossible to get it completely smooth. Always add your dry ingredients to the liquid.

3. Whisk the hell outta it. This is where the whisk(ey) comes in because it takes a couple minutes. Have a swig and get to mixin’! You will think there is no possible way that it will get thick enough, but alas it will! When you think it’s thick enough, keep whisking for another minute or two as you will need it to hold up banana slices.

4. Pour about half the mix into your pie crust and spread it out evenly with a knife or spoon or…well anything that can smooth it out, I’m not one to micromanage.

5. Slice your banana onto the cutting board not directly onto the pudding (it makes it a pain to have to try and move them around after they’re in the pudding).

6. Once the bananas are spread over the top of the pudding, put the rest of the pudding on top of them.

7. Place the strawberries on top of the last layer of pudding and put it in the fridge. BE CAREFUL! That tin that is holding your dessert is not very stable. Open the fridge and then get the pie, otherwise you risk having to go back to the store to get all the ingredients again.

8. Chill that bad boy for a while and go nuts. You might as well just eat it out of the tin as the crust is a pain to get out without it breaking into a million pieces. Function over form, people!

9. You gotta have a big glass of milk with this dessert!

Alright, this was a pleasant surprise.  I’ve tried to make pulled pork before and it was a failure of epic proportions.  This time, however, I conquered the art of pulled meats (HEYOH!).  *Remember, I worked as a line cook.  Keeping this thing PG is not an easy task.

You need a crock pot for this recipe.  If you don’t have one, stop reading, go to Meijer, Wal-Mart…wherever, and get one!  They cost $20 - $40 (depending on size and quality).  Get one that cooks for 5-6 people or so (leftovers, my friend, leftovers).  This device is without question the easiest way to cook food.

What you need:

The aforementioned crock pot.

A colander/strainer/water drainer/thing with the holes in it that drains shit/siv (read: Patrick Roy/Marty Turco)

Chicken - I wanted to save money so I just went with quartered chickens.  Essentially I got 2.5 chickens for $5.  It was a complete pain in the ass to shred, thus I recommend just using boneless, skinless chicken breasts and pay a few extra bucks.  Your call.

BBQ Sauce

Bread

Optional:

Onions

Flour

Egg

Milk

Vegetable Oil

Seasonings

How Do I Make This Stuff?

The day you plan on having this for dinner, get up, turn the crock pot on low, rinse off the chicken, toss it in the crock pot, pour a cup of water in, shake on some salt and pepper, forget about it for the next 8-10 hours (if you cook it on high it’ll be done in about half the time, but I recommend the longer cook time).

After the allotted time, put your colander/strainer/water drainer/thing with the holes in it that drains shit/siv (read: Patrick Roy/Marty Turco) in the sink and drain the contents of the crock pot.  CAUTION: The pot will be hot after cooking for 8-10 hours, use hot mitts.

Dump the chicken back into the crock pot.

Grab two forks and start shredding the chicken by pulling the chicken in opposite directions with the forks.  It should come apart with zero effort.  *If you chose to use the chicken with bones and skin, make sure that all of it is picked out before serving to avoid unnecessary trips to the emergency room.

Once it is fairly well shredded, squeeze in some BBQ sauce.  I used Sweet Baby Ray’s because it’s amazing!  I suggest you do the same.  Start out light with the BBQ sauce, you can always add more, but it’s hard to take it out once it’s mixed in…I think that may be a life lesson as well. 

Throw it between a couple pieces of your favorite bread/buns and go to town!

If you want to get crazy, add homemade onion rings on top, it’s pretty easy.

Here’s what you do:

Take your onion and cut it horizontally (onion should be laying on it’s side) so you can push the rings out from each other.  I like to make the rings about a quarter inch thick.  If you got onion slices, go get another onion and cut it the other way because you did it wrong. 

Mix one egg with a half cup of milk.

Grab a half cup or so of flour and add salt, black pepper, white pepper, and garlic powder.  Mix it up.

Heat your vegetable oil on medium high in a frying pan.  It should be just deep enough to cover the top of the onion.  If it doesn’t quite cover it, no worries.

Take your rings and toss them in the flour, then coat them in the egg/milk wash, coat them with flour, then back to the egg/milk wash, and one last time into flour (I don’t eff around when it comes to this stuff!).

Toss them into your oil.  Turn after about a minute or so.  Cook til golden brown.

Add those puppies on top of your chicken and call that sandwich gone!

Side dishes:

Baked french fries and baked beans went amazingly with this! 

To drink:

I had a nice Nutcracker Christmas Ale by Boulevard Brewing Company (Kansas City) that went really well.  If it were summer, a Linney’s Summer Shandy or Sunset Wheat would have been awesome!

Enjoy this meal with someone who means something special to you, that’s what really makes a meal great.

This sandwich is quick, cheap, and delicious!  Here’s how you do it.

What you need:

2 slices of toasted Italian bread (it tastes better with this stuff, so avoid all other bread styles and treat yourself)

1 Roma tomato

3 slices of fresh mozzarella

3 leaves of basil

A sprinkle of garlic powder

Optional ingredient: Olive oil drizzled on the tomatoes and mozzarella before adding the garlic powder and putting it all together!

I think this photo makes the process fairly self explanatory.  Make sure you wash the basil and then dry it with paper towel.  Don’t cut yourself with the knife and you’re in for a great lunch. 

Now mangia!

Time for a little dessert!  I make this with peaches, but you can really use any soft fruit you want.  Or just skip the fruit and pour the sauce on top of whatever you desire (it is best over Texas Roadhouse rolls).  Oh yeah, I can’t take credit for this one as I learned the basics for it at Texas Roadhouse (but I’ve tweaked it a bit).

What you need:

1 Stick of Butter

1/2 cup Brown Sugar

1/8 cup honey

1/8 cup water

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

Drained peaches

How it’s done:

Turn your pot on medium heat.

Melt butter

Add Brown sugar, honey, water, and cinnamon to the butter and bring the mixture to a boil.

Whisk continuously for 3 minutes at a boil.

Toss in the peaches and lower to a simmer.

Allow peaches to simmer in the sauce for about 10 minutes.  Stir with a wooden spoon every now and again to make sure nothing is sticking to the pot.

Serve over pancakes, ice cream, cinnamon rolls, or just eat it by itself!

To drink: You’ll have to come back for the recipe for the drink, but it’s great (and even easier than this recipe). 

I’ll be honest, I was hungover the first time I made this.  We’d had chicken fajitas and some drinks the night before and I was left with some extra chicken; sauteed onions, green and red peppers; shredded cheese; and cut up tomatoes.  What happened next was one of the best things to ever happen to me.  Here’s how I made it…

What you need:  

The aforementioned chicken (mine had been cooked with taco seasoning the night before and shredded)

Green and red peppers

An onion

Tomatoes

However many eggs you eat in your omelet

Shredded cheese

Salsa (I used hot salsa for this and it made all the difference in the world for me)

Sour cream 

Vegetable oil

The process: 

If you don’t have leftovers:

1. Boil a couple chicken breasts (it’s much cheaper to get the chicken breasts with the bones and then just shred it off the bone after it’s boiled).

2. While it’s boiling, cut your peppers and onions into strips and toss them into a frying pan on medium heat with a tablespoon or so of vegetable oil.  

3. Once the chicken cools, shred it with your hands and throw it in the pan with the onions and peppers (once they are to your desired cookedness).

4. Whisk your eggs.

5. Sprinkle in some taco seasoning (this is for your taste buds to decide, if you like a lot of salt, go for it. For a three egg omelet I used about 1/4 of a packet). 

6. At this point you are ready to add the eggs, so jump down to F.

If you have leftover fajita stuff…

A. Fire up a frying pan on medium high. 

B. Toss in a tablespoon of vegetable oil and heat it for a minute.

C. Throw in your leftover chicken, peppers, and onions

D. Heat it up for about 5 minutes. 

E. Whisk your eggs.

F. Once the leftovers are nice and warm, pour the eggs over them.

G. Wait for there to be just a little bit of uncooked egg left on top of the cooked egg and then flip it.  This may be tricky if you don’t cook a lot.  Hell, just cut it in half or thirds and flip it with a spatula.  Appearance means nothing if it ends up burnt.

H. As soon as you get it flipped, sprinkle cheese on top of the eggs (yes I realize this doesn’t look like a normal omelet, but that’s the beauty of it). 

I. Let the cheese melt and then top with the necessary amount of fresh tomatoes, salsa, and sour cream.

J. Eat like you haven’t eaten in a week!

To drink: Whatever you like to drink at breakfast.  If you are using the mega hot salsa, you may want to go with a glass of milk.  That isn’t for me though.  I recommend a tall glass of apple juice.  If you really want to get into the cultural experience, go get some Horchata mix and get crazy!

Alright, I just tried this one out and was pleasantly surprised. It’s pretty quick (once the thawing is done).

What you need:

Italian Sausage (I used Chef Bruce Aidells Smoked Chicken and Turkey with Mozzarella) Bag of frozen shrimp

An onion

A couple cloves of garlic (or you can just use minced garlic)

Crushed peppercorns (or black pepper)

Kosher Salt (or regular salt)

A lemon Olive oil

How to do it:

Thaw out the shrimp in a colander under cold running water.

While it is thawing out:

Chop the garlic

Crush the peppercorns with the back of a spoon

Cut the onion into strips about a half inch wide

Cut the lemon in half

Slice the sausage to the same thickness of the shrimp (more or less)

Heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil (I just pour and count to 2) in a large frying pan on Medium High.

Once the shrimp is thawed, peel it. Throw everything into the pan (except for the lemon).

Toss a couple of pinches of kosher salt on top.

Cook for about 7-9 minutes turning everything every couple minutes.

It is done when the shrimp and sausage get a nice crust around the edges. Squeeze the lemon over everything in the pan and serve.

To drink: White wine goes well with the shrimp and lemon; red wine goes well with sausage; beer goes well with everything. I’d go with a dry Italian or Spanish red wine (Sangre de Toro) or a good stout/porter (Kalamazoo Stout by Bells).

I coupled this dish with the classic Fontana side dish of bread and butter.

That’s it! Dinner is served!